I have figure out this new way of writing hehe. Since I can hardly find any available idea or feeling when I want to update my blog, I discovered that writing everything in my phone or in microsoft office form is easier. So each time I got something in my mind, I'll write them down in my phone. After that I will just copy and paste everything here, cool kan? Haha. I know this is crazy, ni just suitable untuk orang orang pemalas macam aku jer sebenarnya. Tapi okay la kan dari tak update langsung.
And this is one of my 'great' piece. Yang ni hasil semalam punya. Aku bangun tengah malam tulis tulis tulis then bukak almari lipat baju baju semua and pack everything. Weird.
Have you ever heard from any movies about the feeling of “butterflies in my stomach”? Mostly being referred to a new feeling of love and affection towards someone they barely know or in some cases, your crush. People who have this kind of feeling will experience some kind of I don’t know affection to another person which makes you think about that individual for twenty four hours every day or in simple words, you long for him/her. I’m not in love but right now, I have that kind of feeling. After almost five months of doing nothing except lying in bed and watching movies, I have reached the point where I have to move on from this warm place to another world that I have never been before. Although I have spent one year in university for my foundation studies, this degree level seems different. As the time taken to finish it is longer than foundation, I expect it to be more challenging and more thrilling, even though I don’t know whether I can bear with that or not. I think I am blank, totally entirely perfectly blank. In fact, I think I have forgotten all those knowledge basics ethics of law that I learnt during my foundation level. I can’t find my Federal Constitution (forgot where I put it) and I forgot all the contents in it haha. If you ask me to explain about the section about the fundamental liberties which is the most basic knowledge that must be remembered for a law student, I think I fail that too.
Despite all these, I do think that I have to go, that’s it. I have done a lot of crazy things at home these days and I believe that I have been like a burden to my mum too so maybe pursuing my studies this Monday is the best idea for me. Maybe I don’t want to go now but I know myself, my decisions changed after every situation I’ve been through. This probably the hardest part of my life so I’m not feeling of going but maybe after this another few days if I have a fight with anyone in this house, I will feel like I want to go out of the house somewhere people can’t find me. I know it sounds a little bit crazy but, it’s always like that. When you want it to happen, it disappears but when you lost it, that is the moment you dear it so much.
This is my ambition, my dream. I want this since I can’t remember when so I should not, will not toss this out. A lot of people want to be here to have the same opportunity as I have right now so I being one of the lucky people to be selected should be grateful and pack everything up, get ready and hello Shah Alam, is it? Wish me luck and keep praying for me. Your dua(s) are one of the best prizes I've been receiving since years. Thank you so much. Insya Allah if I can find any spare time between my studies, I’ll write something about how my law studies are going. That’s all, farewell.
With lots of love, you know who.
2009, old days.