Thursday, December 29, 2011
My whole 2011 experience!
2011 will end up soon. Macam tak percaya je kan? Seriously, I tend to miss everything that I had left especially my school days. Kononya lah. Introduction gila sengal. Kehkeh.
This year, I have accomplished a lot of my goals and dreams that I had set at the beginning of this year and Alhamdulillah, I have exceed many of my expectations. I have improved exponentially in my subjects, performing better that I had never done before. Well, my writing and Mathematics skills are far away better than last year and the most important thing is, I manage to find and to know more about myself this year. Although, I still got C for my Physic and Additional Math papers but I am totally glad because I manage to get A for other subjects. At least for the trial and of course, the most exciting part that happened to me this year is the SPM ! * sambil melompat gaya pondan * Haha. Of course, SPM is not something welcoming much tapi seriously banyak benda yang aku belajar tahun ni just because of the SPM. Orang cakap kalau nak menuntut ilmu perlu ikhlas tapi kita jugak perlukan something yang boleh force/tolak kita untuk belajar bersungguh-sungguh and in my case, SPM plays its role quite well.
"When one door clothes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us"- Alexander Graham Bell.
This year have seen me doing a lot of things that I couldn't even imagine it. Starting with life, friends, being a form 5 student and the exciting part is the SPM of course! Haha. I'm still shocked that it's all over, and I'm not sure how to put it all into words. Seriously!
I think I began to understand the meaning of success and failure since I was 12 after getting B for my Science paper but this year 2011, has proves that the failure is not permanent. As long as you work hard, carry good attitudes and never ever give up, InsyaAllah success will fly directly to you. Ramai yang menggangap aku pelajar cemerlang during my school years. My answer is "No!". Aku bukan pelajar pintar harapan bangsa macam orang lain. I am not a student that an educationist will be proud of. I have failed more than I have succeed. I have cried, failed and I often make my parents sad. To count all the hearts that I've broken not just this year but my entire life is totally countless.
Bila aku pergi Educamp hari tu, aku jumpa ramai orang. And most of them are straight A's students and came from great schools ( SBP, Mara and etc). Budak-budak dari sekolah biasa ni memang sikit, boleh kira dengan jari jer and I'm included. Of course aku rasa rendah diri ( dan rendah hati ) masa tu but well, just be natural. Some of them memang pandang rendah habis kat aku! I know that I'm just lucky, that's why I'm selected. But of course, you are not suppose to look down on someone just because you are just better. Alhamdulillah, I manage to prove to 'those' people that, tak semestinya kita ni datang dari sekolah biasa dan kita ni cuma dapat 8a trial bukan straight macam awak, kita tak boleh berjaya ! And Alhamdulillah, I had done better than some of them. Luckily!
Looking back through my 2011 and my experience at high school (senior), I feel it made me resent and at times hate learning, despite wanting to learn.
Through this entire year with all the tears I've shed , and the bitter-sweet memories that I won't ever forget, I have come to realize that people's opinions are not everything. I've been so caught up with what I thought I wanted, and what truly important to me. I still don't know what I want but 2011 give me a hint for what I aim for 2012. The whole experience overall has taught me that even if you don't succeed the first time there is totally nothing stopping you from trying again regardless of your age.
Aku sendiri tak tahu apa yang aku tulis ni. Aku just tulis apa yang ada dalam hati aku ni. Haha.
Just remember that you always have two doors in front of you. You will decide to pick the right one.