Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Old memories! you will never know what you have until you have lose it, trust me!



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:u: Assalamualaikum readers :q:

Hari ni aku tak pergi sekolah :d: bukan aku sengaja tak nak pergi tapi kepala ni asyik berdenyut-denyut je. plus cuaca sekarang yang tak menentu. kejap hujan :19: kejap panas terik :26: sangat mempengaruhi "kesihatan" aku. disebabkan tu jugaklah aku sekarang diserang batuk dan selsema yang teruk sangat-sangat :face37: . body please sihat cepat, spm is just around :n: okay!

semalam aku kemas bilik :face75:. then, i found this little box yang banyak sangat treasure kat dalam tu. ada album lama :51:, my old-super cute pink diary :90:, my first pendrive and few cute storybooks. hey, dah lama aku cari benda-benda ni! especially the album. banyak kenangan aku dalam tu since zaman kanak-kanak ribena hinggalah sekarang ni. dah besar panjang .aku memang seorang penulis tegar. kot :s: haha :face50: . dulu hari-hari mesti tulis something dalam diari. walaupun beberapa baris perkataan yang simple tapi sangat sangat meaningful. seingat aku, aku stop doing all this thing at the end of 2009 kot. bila blog ni muncul, i started to express all my taughts and feelings in this blog.



"If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth writing." - Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

:m: I spent hours reading all the stories and all the words that i wrote back years. some was so exciting and so vivid. bila baca balik semua tu, aku rasa sangat sangat terharu dan nak nangis. aku sedar yang banyak sangat salah dan khilaf yang aku telah buat selama ni. tapi aku selalu tak nampak atau"buat-buat" tak nampak semua tu. :2: i realize i was so stubborn and i don't care about others' feelings. i was selfish :15: padan muka aku :x: . then bila dah sampai ke tahap ni, baru kita sedar kat mana salah kita. apa orang kata, sudah terhantuk baru terngadah :p: tapi bila kita dah kehilangan sesuatu yang berharga tu, susah untuk kita dapatkannya balik. trust me, you will never know what you have until you have lose it :95:

i discovered this story. it was written :47:at the end of 2006. hari di mana aku nak pergi ambik result upsr. that morning, my mum gathered both my sis and i to her room. and based on what i wrote in this diary:90:. my mum cried for us. she told us that no matter how many A did we get in this exam, never ever lose hope in yourself! she was trying to please us. well, at that moment, upsr means everything okay :r: how can i forgot my mum's last sentences? "umi selalu sayang anak-anak umi and no matter what happen to you, i will always be there" yup! she will always be there to point out the right direction. i love you mum:94:. nak tahu tak masa tu adek aku dapat straight a tapi aku tak! haha. masih lagi ingat moment tu. moment peluk cikgu-cikgu yang dah banyak sangat mengajar aku selama ni. especially my beloved, cikgu siti. i was too sad at that moment. i was one of the targeted students and i always scored straight before but in real exam, i failed! aku rasa macam aku dah kecewakan :68: semua orang yang berharap tinggi kat aku. sorry :q: *sigh*:face21:


also, aku terjumpa senaskah surah Yaasin dalam diari tu. as far as i can remember, it was given by my ustazah. aku rasa naskah tu untuk pelajar-pelajar yang ambik subjek BA masa form 3. masa tu kitaorang tengah main game paling banyak hafal rasanya. :108: and i am one of the winners :25:(rasanya semua orang menang kot. haha) waktu tu, i was wondering apa ada pada naskah ni i mean, it was just a usual surah Yaasin. memang aku mengaku, aku tak expect untuk terima ni sebagai hadiah. it was just a normal surah yasin and i have few of them kat rumah. kenapa perlu bagi ni sebagai hadiah:s: masa tu aku masih lagi berakal pendek.


:u: last night, aku baca Yaasin guna kitab yang my ustazah bagi. first time! and :face41: i cried a lot. setiap malam aku baca yasin tapi semalam memang sesuatu yang totally meaningful! i cried for everything that i had lost but for sure one very very strong thing that made my eyes teary during reciting Yaasin was the fact that i am 17 and i am in the final year. and to count all the hearts that I've broken :68: was impossible:x: i mean, throughout all these years I have teachers, parents and friends expecting so much from me but all i did was keep disappointing them. I know i can do better for them, just to make them smile and happy but i was to obsess about other things! :face36:

aku banyak buat silap kan?
what you get is actually what you give :n:
thanks for reading =):63:

anyway, korang suka tak icon-icon comel tu??:60: its cool right? haha.



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