I have a habit of thinking too much on everything. Yes I do mean everything. I am not proud nor I am happy with it. At the same time I can't claim that I hate it because sometimes this keeps me going. Imagine when you are waiting in a very long line in a clinic, if you don't think of something you will probably die. The thing I hate about going to clinic or hospital is I have to wait. We wait for like what two hours and went inside met the doctor, say hello (if he is handsome lol) and after those simple check up you are done, take the pills and go home, that's it. So I always try my very best to avoid from being sick or feel sick. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Okay tak lawak.
Back to the topic I really do a lot of thinking especially when I'm alone or while I'm driving (jangan tiru). And I always get carried away with it. Sometimes I kinda hate this feeling especially when you continuously think of something you shouldn't be bothered about. For example if I had a fight with someone and he/she is totally wrong and you know when both parties are insanely mad of course things start to fall over. I knew it wasn't my fault but I can't help myself from over think it. At the end I'll be confused and sad. Well I wasn't suppose to be sad but I always do each time things are not doing well. I keep blaming myself and start doing the Wh questions for about fifty times before someone can barely stop me. And the good news is that almost 99 percent of things I worried about had never happen, I just over think.
This is one thing that I can't stop and seriously if there's a specific legal pills that can make me stop thinking too much, I'll probably be among the first people buying it. What scares me most is I think I am becoming older and uglier because of this, I can see my kedut kedut tang sini tang situ haha no I'm kidding I'm young and healthy luckily. What scares me most is I think I started to develop a little prejudice of my own self. Sometimes, I'll be too harsh on people and even myself. And I tell you what the worst feeling in this world is when you feel like you have lost yourself. Each time I see a beautiful girl with a perfect figure and she is extremely good in everything I'll ask myself stupid questions like "why can't I be her? why can't I look like her or she is like a beautiful angle and I am a big fat watermelon". There are times where I expect a lot from people and they make mistakes and fail. I'll be very frustrated and I wonder whether their failure get anything to do with me. One of my friends told me he got C for certain subjects and I feel bad for him, at the same time I wonder whether my presence sebab selalu sangat kacau dia lead to this. I know I shouldn't bother about this but I don't know I just can't help it. I have to learn to expect the lowest from the people I thought the highest off.
Fuhhh. Well surprisingly I feel a lot better after writing this. Bahu dah kendur sikit haha.
Either I think too much or I don' think at all.
Takde kaitan dengan entry but I just prefer my entry with at least some pictures of me and my friends haha.